Today's Ywav was really good.
As in, bible study and all. Well, its really amazing how God works in many different ways.
For example, I was sharing last week that I was having difficulties with having regular quiet time everyday, and BAM. Today during worship, Pastor Eric shared about "what holds us back from spending time with God everyday" Isn't it just so amazing?
Well, today's topic was on faith and words.
Are your words true? Are your words pure? Are you accountable for whatever you say in your life. I hate to say this but Uncle Woon Hong shared that all of us will be accountable for whatever we have said in our lives from the day that we are born.
I have to face the truth. Judgement day will come one day, and guess what? I think I'll be ashamed to actually face God.
I don't think I'll be able to give a full account of everyword that I have ever said in the past fourteen years of my life.
I can't bear the thought of thinking that one day I'll be standing in front of God, so ashamed of myself.
Words.
I think many of times people just let words slip out like that. I'm guilty of that before as well. In fact, I was rather ashamed when Joel told me that I have changed quite alot. Indeed, I realised that myself as well. But, it seems to me that even now, when I know something is wrong with me, people just think that I don't fit in.
You think that I'm too pure or something. But, the fact is that I don't see a reason as to why I should confrom to all those desires of the world when I should be spending more quality time with God.
It is indeed very ironic. For me, who claims that I am a true christian and I am involved in minsitry and all, but yet don't share a close and personal relationship with God. Doesn't that sound rather weird to you? Well, it does to me and I believe that I want to change that. I really want to. I will, I must, and I can.
Its the attitude, my friends. The attitude that determines everything. I used to hate that word alot. But now, its so real to me. Like, in terms of speech. If everyone can talk unlimited-ly everyday, why is it that some people can use up all their words swearing and cursing whilst others can use it for other purposes such as encouraging and being a constant support to others.
I don't know about you. But I have personally met friends who are really constant reminders that whatever we posses on this Earth is just temporal. And these friends have been the ones who I have been looking up to. Because their speech, leaves an impression on me.
A good impression.
Think about this, if I, as a christian can be so affected by the speech and talking of others, what more other people who are non-christians.
One of the purposes in our lives, Worship.
Worship is a lifestyle. Indeed, and the the things that we say and the things that we do, will leave an impression to the people around us.
So I really pray that we will all learn to speak with a right motive and not because of the want to feel accepted or whatsoever. I have that problem now. And I think that I want the old me back. The me who had such a child-like faith, the me who thought that everything was just so simple. The me who knew that words were so important. I want that me back today.
Well, I guess I shall stop here now.
It was really good to see Marcus in church today. Really hope that he will be regular in Ywav.

Love, Samantha.

1. Most encouraging phrase : "Don't worry, its just a phase that will pass somehow."
2. Most discouraging phrase: "You're just not suited for it"
3. Phrase that I want to hear: "I really think you did well."
4. Phrase that I don't want to hear: "I hate you."

"I wonder if you ever realised."