I've never felt like this before. Its a mixed feeling of depression, sadness, guilt and everything else that I can ever think of. I never thought that this woud actually happen. Its just not humanly possible, is it? I mean, lets be realistic here. Its just rather unbelievabe, is it?

I think I'm feeling more of guilt than anythig else. Its not like I don't feel bad enough already. Seriously don't need the constant reminders as to what I need to do and what I shouldn't do. Typical human behaviour, isn't it? I know their being worried and all. But, its not as though I'm not depressed enough. I reall did my best. And there you can tell me that you hope this is a wake up call for me.

Interesting, isn't it. I doubt they'll really know how I feel. After all, they're not the one who's going to do the subject. Its me!

God has a plan for my life. God has a plan for my life. I just can't wait to see, whats in stored for me, cause God has a plan for my life.

Just that for now, I don't know his plan yet. Yeah, I really pray that the appeal results will be more encouraging. I really don't want to get that kind of feeling anymore. Dear Lord, help me.

Samantha