The thought of losing myself, in giving you praise.

When everything just turns around overnight, and when you suddenly lose everything. How does that feel? I wonder... Perhaps I'll feel it soon, just have this weird thing or feeling that something is going to happen. No idea when/how/why/where.

But when you really start to entertain that thought, it really scares you sometimes. I'm trying not to doubt, trying. But failing miserably. This is so rubbish, I shouldn't be feeling this now when its the second day of the year.

Let's try getting this feeling out. I need help. Help, HELLPP.

Dear Lord, please tell me this isn't happening, tell me that I'm thinking too much. Yes, I am. Please guide me out.

Samantha