Okay, I've got to admit, I'm not ready for this at all. Past few days I've been thinking about how mature I've grown to be over the past few years. But today, I finally realised one thing. God isn't through with me yet. He hasn't moulded me into the person he desires me to be.

It really feels like crap when you're confused/stressed. Especially when you need someone to talk to, but somehow the person you have in mind doesn't seem to care. Okay, I'm not pinpointing or whatever la. But really.

I'm really tired okay. I've got enough. Enough of finding lame and stupid answers to convince myself, enough of everything. Even the calmest person on Earth can blow at times. Sometimes I really wish everything could alakazam and zap itself away.

Gosh, I find myself to hypocritical at times. I keep saying, "O levels come first, O levels come first." But kinda think of it, there are other things that are still weighing on my mind. I'm being super general here and not pointing to anything else.

I was putting much thought to whatever happened in the past year, what I could have done better, what I shouldn't have done and so on. Even though they all say its good enough to do your best. But honestly, its not a nice feeling to know that you have fallen short of expectations and things have come to a certain state because of you.

I'm not going to blame you nor anyone else. But I'm just going to trust that God planned this all out. And through this, the thickest piece of metal can become a needle.

For now, I'm just worried about SYF results which are coming out tmr. Plus, Mid Years which are like.. in a week's time. Excluding Enlgish which is.. the day after tmr.

BTW, I'm not emo-ing. I'm just.. reflecting.

Dear God, please help me.

At the peak, falling.